We’ve been going to holiday parties lately and on the one hand we are happy to see our friends. Many of them haven’t met Ella or Netta yet and many haven’t seen Ella in a long time. Despite Ella’s progress, when we see her together with other kids her age, the developmental delay is really pronounced and that’s hard to face up to. We know Ella is very behind with her gross motor skills (walking, sitting up, standing, etc.) but we tend not to recognize how far behind she is cognitively until we compare her with kids her age (not a good idea, but one can’t help it). Ella does alot of vocalizing, grunting mostly, but rarely is able to get the idea accross of what she wants. It’s frustrating and also, I have the feeling that I never really know what’s going on with her. For example, the potty. Lately, we’ve been putting her on the potty and she invariable does her thing pretty quick. It seems like she really understands the concept. (She also loves hearing the potty training book (hebrew version: Sir HaSirim). Yet I’m thinking: could it be that she really understands the whole thing or is this just all coincidence? Then for eating — no matter how much we yell at her she still throws her food and crumbles it like she just doesn’t get that food is not a toy. She still explores things with her mounth like a very young baby (Netta is far past that stage) yet her concentration when we read books to her and ask her to point to the main character is intense, as if she hangs on every word. Sometimes, she’ll bolt across the living room walking with us only stabilizing her hips. Other times, especially when we aren’t at home, she won’t tolerate a second of standing and just curls up her legs. So go figure? It is frustrating and Etan and I wonder what her cognitive abilties will ultimately be. I guess one can’t really expect to know. We try to take each day at a time but it’s hard when she is so heavy and my back is about to give out. I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.